New Year’s Eve. It never seems to pan out for Josh and me. This year Josh rang in the new year painting by the light of a giant work lamp. I watched Gilmore Girls and then fell asleep at 10:30 after spending all day edging his previous night’s paint job. It was so very romantic.
|Our New Year’s Eve tradition of Fondue – this year on paper plates and a folding table.|
That’s our life right now. Low on romance but high on blessing and chocked full of chaos. I am edging close to my chaos tolerance threshold. On the other side is a full on avoiding life, hermit-like, Netflix marathon. Do you know what’s miraculous, though? That we’ve been living this way – in limbo – for about a year now. It went like this: pukey pregnant allowing my children to eat Wheat Thins out of the box atop our coffee table; oh, hey, we’re moving to Colorado; oh, hey, we have to sell our house; oh, hey, your kid needs to start kindergarten; oh, hey, it’s time to have the baby; oh, hey, it’s time to move; oh, hey, it’s time to start a church; oh, hey, it’s time for Christmas; and also, it’s time to move again.
This morning I marveled at the fact that there hasn’t been a meltdown – not one of typical proportions, not one that has resulted in the ignoring of all responsibilities and a serious Netflix binge. Grace. 2014 was paved in stones of grace, and we leaned hard on each sturdy stone. We didn’t get it all right, but how we grew, learned, and lived – all by grace.
Oh, and y’all – the provision. The things that God did. When I think of them, I am left breathless and in awe. It’s as though this was the year that God said, “Emily, I’m giving this year to remind you that I am passionately in love with you and that I care about every detail of you and your family’s life.” I filled the first pages of my 2015 journal with a great many of the gifts He handed down in 2014 – because I want to start this year in full belief that my God is a God who says “Yes,” as often as possible. He is a God who loves entirely and gives without limit. I need to remember that because in 2015, I want to be bold.
Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines bold like this: fearless before danger; adventurous, free – among other things.
This is what I hope to embody this year. To stand unafraid before danger or even just the uncomfortable – to embrace adventure and freedom – to live this way because I know my God stands with me, comforts me tenderly, and gives me all that I need and much of what I want!
2015 – you are the year I will choose BOLD – but, ahem, please be gentle.