Yesterday, after the fit throwing post, I picked Adelle up from class and we stopped in Josh’s office. He mentioned the blog post and chuckled. I said something about there still being dishes in the sink and cried. This prompted and immediate declaration, on his part, that Mommy was taking a night off. The rules, again on his part, were that I leave and do whatever I want and not come back until after the girls were in bed.
The man truly is a saint.
So, in true submissive wife form [hahaha], I grabbed An American Duchess and those fun gardening books I received yesterday and made a bee line for Panera. I ate whatever I wanted. I came so very close to finishing said Duchess novel, which is a small miracle because I’ve been reading since sometime in July. I did not check my phone repeatedly. I marveled for a while at the pretty gardening pictures, but in the end I made no effort to plan anything. I just enjoyed myself – no back motive at all.
The deal is this: I “over” everything. Over plan, overreach, over expect, overdo, over improve, overreact, over think, overachieve…oversleep. I have to take careful precautions in my life to guard against this sort of “over” disease. Last night God knew what I needed. He heard your prayers. He spoke to my husband. My husband graciously gave me orders. I miraculously followed them. I took a break – not the kind that involved intense Bible study or crazy errand running or devoted life planning – but that kind where you slip haphazardly into the world of another and eat carbs to your heart’s content…and then buy a new maxi skirt at TJMaxx.
I went to bed. I woke up and God gave me the clarity of mind to remember about my “over” disease. So, some things that helped me today included:
*Don’t over schedule because then you feel rushed which causes you to impatiently rush Adelle who responds very negatively to being rushed.
*When you take both of your children to Hobby Lobby, don’t over shop. Get what you need and get to Barnes and Noble ASAP where Adelle can play. While you are there, don’t over think. Allow yourself to let go of the rest of the day and be all there with her. 20 minutes of focused fun time goes much further than an hour of distracted attention.
*Don’t over expect or overreact in the area of your children’s behavior or the overall flow of your day. Things will happen. Children will yank tiny shamrocks off the Hobby Lobby shelves and try to get out of the store with them. Roll with it. Carefully watch the tone of your voice through every moment of the day. Interact with your kids while you run errands instead of making it obvious that they are annoying you.
*Don’t over try to make the house perfect. Upstairs looks decent. Accept that as a victory.
*Don’t overstimulate by turning on the additional noise of the TV while you’re feeding the baby. Instead sit in silence or read your escape of a book. Ten minutes of quiet escape go a long way.
*Don’t over eat when you feel stressed. It’ll make you feel more stressed later when those pre-baby jeans still.won’t.button. Instead, eat a yogurt and some hummus with pita chips and accept that as good enough.
So far, today has been a much more successful day while be no less eventful. It has included me standing in the parking lot of Hobby Lobby for 10 minutes while I tried to get the new double stroller open and another 10 minutes while I tried to get it closed – and then had to call Josh so that he could talk me through it because I was failing AND only one 45 minute nap for Marilee from 7am to 2 pm due to our errand running and the fact that we were locked out of her room because Adelle had to lock up the “castle” when we left.
Can I just say that your words mattered? Every one that was sent my way – via Facebook or text or blog comment, they each mattered greatly and I am grateful to have you on my “team”. Please know that I am also on yours and if you ever feel like you might be losing it, please contact me. I will listen and believe that it is every bit as difficult as you say it is. And then I’ll tell you you can do it!
I love you all like crazy!!