Do you ever have those days where you just returned from vacation and all you really want to do is vacate your responsibilities? I never understood this as a child – how my parents were so exhausted after we got back from vacation. I mean, all they did was read while we were there. My vantage point was skewed. What I wanted to do today was sleep until ten, wake up and eat a giant stack of pancakes and bacon for breakfast, and watch the Olympics while
being crafty all day long lying on the couch and thinking about being crafty all day long. I would like to vacate the act of parenting for the day and instead live in a world of supreme selfishness where no one talks to me – at all.
Instead, I got up and prepared a bowl of oatmeal for the chattiest three-year old to walk the face of the planet at 7:30 am. I will clean the house because the alternative is to live in it for another couple of days as is, and that’s really not a viable, sanitary option for any one; and then I will attempt to find a suitable dinner option for all of us.
Have I mentioned that I am swollen and sweaty all of the time?
Have I also mentioned that I haven’t seen my niece in months? She’s big and cute and nothing like the last time I saw her. She’ll be crawling by the time I see her again and Marilee will be three months old before my sister even meets her. This breaks my heart. And last night I uttered the words, “I just need my Mama,” to a very patient Joshy. For those of you who don’t know me well, this admission is a big deal. I feel trapped in these circumstances – trapped, oppressed, and alone.
Today I am cranky. God knew this would be the case and thought it’d be cute for Philippians 1:12-14 to be my Scripture memory for the day. So cute. As I reflect on these three verses, the Holy Spirit keeps asking me over and again, “What/who are you chained to? Your circumstances that do bind, oppress, and ostracize? Or your Jesus who is by His very essence freedom, protection, and support? You get to choose.”
And so it all comes back to a choice – just what I was hoping for.
What will I choose today? What will you choose?