On the Disappointment You Feel

Hey. I see you. You’re disappointed. You’re overwhelmed. You’re deeply concerned. And quite frankly, you’re pretty ticked about the whole situation.

This is not how it was all supposed to go down. You’re not sure what all “it” encompasses, but you are deep down in your bones sure that it’s most definitely wrong right now. So you post another meme or go on another walk or pour another glass of wine or verbally vomit on someone again today. I’ve done all of the above at some point, for the record.

Here’s a fun fact about me: I have very high expectations for my life. My expectations are, in fact, currently lower than they’ve ever been because I realized that holding onto my high expectations was robbing me of all my joy in my actual life. Why does this matter? Because I have a lifetime of unmet expectations and disappointments to draw from. I know what it is to feel like the rug has been ripped out from under you, to feel so trapped in your circumstances that you feel like you might scream, and to sense that you somehow need to justify your ache to the world. I think I understand what so many of us are experiencing right now, and here’s what I’ve come to learn:

From Abraham and Sarah to Hannah to David to all of Israel to Mary and the disciples and Paul and on and on and on…God over and over and over again throughout Scripture pulled this move. This move that went something like a long stint of something really hard mixed with a lot of begging and praying and waiting – and then an answer to their prayers in ways that were NOTHING like what they expected – and ultimately were above and beyond what they hoped for.

Disappointment is almost always God’s way of inviting us to lean in because He wants to commune with us. He doesn’t cause the circumstances around our disappointment – the death or the loss or the fear – those things are not from Him. But when He doesn’t stop them, He is inviting you, me, all of us to lean in. He is on the move when we are disappointed.

I know it’s upside down. It’s weird and hard to wrestle down in our brains – and especially in our hearts – but God is always about drawing us nearer to Him. So today, embrace the disappointment. Own it, say it to Him, and the get up and live. Every single day is a gift. Be ticked all you want, but then get up and live. By live, I don’t mean produce. I don’t mean be awesome. I just mean be present – as much as you can – be present and alive and grateful. And when you can’t (because sometimes you just can’t), at the very least, take it all to Jesus instead of letting it steal your everydays.

Love y’all so big! Keep living! ♥️

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