Full in it All

Day 24

Remember last time I wrote? How I was all – life is a fairy tale? La, dee, dah!

I laid my head down at 10 pm last night. At 10:15 Marilee woke up fussy. I got her back to sleep and got back in bed myself somewhere around 10:45. At 11, she woke up again. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. This happened two more times before she was finally out for the rest of the night.

Today I awoke to cooler temperatures, a cloudy sky, and foggy focus. I feel like eight more cups of coffee MIGHT begin to help me regain my clarity. I’d like to get out and enjoy the weather but I haven’t the energy to, you know, dry my hair.

I’ve spent the last week trying to implement a schedule so that our days don’t feel so chaotic and often wasted. This is not a hard and fast schedule, but so far it has proved to help our days go a little more smoothly – and we needed some smooth. Today, though, all I want to do is drink coffee and create something pretty with some favorite people present.

Since we talked a lot about France this week, does the viewing of Ratatouille count as school? It does, right?

Adelle is using her bold and blatant defiance as a way to demand attention. She is currently fake crying and shouting, “You’re not snuggling with me!” Let’s keep in mind that I spent a great deal of the morning snuggling with her – don’t you forget about that. Let’s also remember that she gets to have a camp out downstairs with her Daddy tonight. Life truly is tragic for Adelle.

And I want to scream.

See how that works? Back and forth, in and out – life is grand and it is gross – often at the same time.

The truth doesn’t change. It grows. And my job is to live full in it all.

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