It’s Sunday. Josh arrived home this afternoon from a long weekend in Tennessee with his boyz [I am so cool when I say things like that]. Now you understand the crying in the bathroom that happened yesterday. I couldn’t tell you ALL about it because I don’t generally like to broadcast my home-alone-ness because I’m a big, fat scared-y cat. So, for your reading pleasure, while Josh was gone I may or may not have:
1. Taken a very long time deciding where I should place the pistol – so it would be out of reach of the children and also so I could retrieve it quickly if necessary.
2. Eaten a whole [very large] box of chocolate covered pretzels all.by.myself.
3. Acknowledged that I would be four sizes bigger if I were a single mom.
4. Acknowledged [again] that single parents are basically real life super heroes. Really and truly – you are amazing. PLEASE let me know if I can ever help you in any way – like with your children, or the delivery of some booze [mostly just kidding about that].
5. Watched approximately two hours of television every night in an effort to wear myself out real good so I wouldn’t lie awake hearing “danger sounds”.
6. Begun to consider the possibility of life re-imagined right where I am. Thank you Rebekah Lyons and Emily P. Freeman.
7. Let the house get messier than I EVER would if Josh was home knowing that it was a tiny act of rebellion against his anal retentive tendencies.
8. Cleaned the house up because it was stressing me out and because I’m not REALLY that rebellious.
9. Cried in the bathroom [but we covered that].
10. Gone four days – seriously, four – without any real adult interaction. That’ll send you right off the crazy cliff, people – right off it.
Now he’s home – and too tired to chat. [I prepared myself or this.] But he is waiting to snuggle with me, so I’ll talk to you cats on the ‘morrow.