We ate our Sunday dinner as planned. We cleaned up the kitchen as planned. The Hunk and Miss Magnificent went down for the resty roos as planned. And when all was quiet, I grabbed my Bible, my journal, threw on my favorite pair of flip flops, and headed down to the lake – eagerly anticipating my time alone with the God I had been aching for over the span of a year.
My mission: to remember who He is. Simply to focus on Him and leave myself out of the equation. I had grown weary of thinking about me. I was getting on my nerves. Where do you go when you need to look past yourself?
Isaiah. Isaiah 40 is where I landed, to be exact. And I began to read and reflect and read and reflect a little more about how even my most faithful acts are nothing more than wildflowers that God can blow over with a breath.That I am nothing and He is everything. And then about how gently Jesus cares for His sheep. I got to verse 11 and stopped.
He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.
Hmmm. Those that have young? Like, the mama’s? So I checked the margin to see if there was another verse referenced in connection with that one. Check out Genesis 33:13 – after Jacob has met Esau again and Esau has invited Jacob to travel with him. Jacob says:
My lord knows that the children are tender and that I must care for the ewes and cows that are nursing their young. If they are driven hard just one day, all the animals will die.
I just sat there in utter and complete awe. It was like God was whispering in my ear, “You matter. The mama sheep matter. If you are driven too hard, the rest of your flock will suffer, too. You are significant and I carefully guard all that is on your plate each and every day. I care about the mama’s, Emily.”
And so God swept down and touched one of my deepest heart hurts at the time. He told me that I mattered. That what I do matters. That He knows I can’t take too much without the whole flock suffering. But that I can also do anything through Him.